Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Perfect Motherhood, Perfect Body

I remember sitting one time, about three years ago, in a homeschool group meeting. A mom had brought some clothes to give away and the other ladies were sorting through the bag, discussing sizes, making jokes about how they'd never fit into a size 12 again and so forth. For no particular reason, one of the older moms began talking about her oldest daughter, whom most of us had never met.

"She has the perfect figure," she said. "Big on top, tiny in the middle, big on the bottom." She made an hourglass shape in the air with her hands. My blood boiled a little. Perfect, she says. Big tits, tiny waist, curvaceous ass. By whose standards?  Are we buying into what the media tells us is perfect? Are these our own ideas and preferences?  I looked down at my body.  Know what I saw?  I saw an infant, only a couple months old, cradled in my arms.  He was discreetly latched onto my "imperfect," small right breast, greedily sucking and gulping down life-sustaining fluid produced by my "imperfect" body.  I thought of my soft and baggy midsection striped with stretch marks.   I thought about the fact that seven of the most amazing people I know have lived there.  My body has grown, brought forth and nourished seven other lives!   My body is fucking amazing.  I smiled to myself.  My nursing infant had not one complaint about my body.

Neither has Denny.  He thinks I'm beautiful.  He touches me like he thinks I'm beautiful.  He has occasionally expressed awe at my body and touched it reverently, knowing it has produced life.  I think this is as it should be.  Early on he told me he thought that me being a mother was sexy.


Interesting perceptions we humans have.

7 comments:

  1. Kaleesha - don't get me started on the media and our warped sense of beauty! Yes, it is true, our perceptions are very interesting indeed.... I am happy that Denny knows true beauty. You should own his words :)

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    1. Yes! I do try to own his words. I feel like I have grown a lot, not just from his affection, but from his encouraging me to be comfortable with myself. Very nice.

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  2. New reader here with my first comment (loved your book, btw).

    I think you're close but not on target here. Your body is amazing and wonderful. Full stop. Its ability to nurture new people is a just one wonderful feature. It's YOU; there is no soul, just a brain and a heart and organs and blood and limbs and everything else in one unified package. Just those things, and yet the complete package is a human being. And human beings, whatever other qualities they may possess, are pretty damn amazing.

    I suspect there are good evolutionary reasons for our human tendency to seek perfection: as creatures who live by our brains, the perfect roof, the perfect garden, the perfect spear-throw were all worthy aspirations for getting us through life. But what real value is there in the perfect figure? Not really a lot. Imperfections aren't just natural, they are the raw material for the evolutionary engine that has driven the continued existence of life on our planet for so long. And that's a pretty big deal. Nature thrives on imperfections! And so should we.

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    1. Karen, what wonderful insight! Thank you so much for chiming in. You're onto something here, for sure. My understanding of perfection is definitely one of those things that's undergoing a shift. The more I study evolution, the more excited I am about the world, especially humanity (with occasionally bursts of sadness, naturally). We are not perfect... we're evolving! Love it.

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    2. Oh, and I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the book. Would you consider leaving an honest review on Amazon? I would very much appreciate it. http://www.amazon.com/Free-Unhappily-Conservative-Atheistic-Complicated-ebook/product-reviews/B00IZ0Y1XY/ref=cm_cr_dp_synop?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending#RM5422GZIB3W3

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