Free to Be Promo

Been a while. How about another chance to download Free to Be for free? 

Feel free to grab the above image and share it.  =)

Writng Projects

Ooh, starting to feel a bit nippy out there, isn’t it? I heard rumor there might be a snowflake or ten this weekend. Not sure I’m quite ready for snow, but I do love it when it arrives. We’ll see. In the meantime, the fire’s glowing in the wood stove, the children and Denny are doing school, the sky is overcast and I’ve got the day to write to my heart’s content.

My writing space

So, what is Williams writing these days, anyway? Well, for starters, I’m aiming to get at least one blog post up a week. So much to write about, so little time—you know how it is. I’ve been learning to use Twitter and trying to remember to Tweet a couple times a day on there as well as engaging a bit. I may or may not be getting the hang of it. Ha.

But the projects… oh, the projects! It’s delicious to have projects. I’ve mentioned before that I’m working on something akin to a sequel to Free to Be, but done in a fictional style. Autobiographical fiction, they call it. Though I’ve long been daunted by writing fiction, a good friend and fellow author has given me a push and a whole heap of encouragement to try my hand at it (and, as always and of course, I have Denny’s full support and enthusiasm). It’s a different sort of bird altogether, I tell you what. I find it much more difficult than the writing I’ve done over the last two decades, but I do so love to learn and I’m learning a good deal. The tricky thing is not putting too much pressure on myself. Naturally, I’m my own worst enemy. Aren’t we all? 


Along the way my friend had the idea to write something together, something light, fun, and rather absurd, an ebook we can write quickly and sell cheaply. So, we spun off a ridiculous romantic parody and are having an absolute blast with it. I’ve set my other project aside for the time being, realizing that by collaborating with an experienced, talented, and, thankfully, very patient writer, I have the opportunity to learn in ways I couldn’t on my own. There are many tricks he’s learned over the years and he’s throwing them all at me. He’s figured out my learning style and sort of gotten into my head, able to guide me through any rough spots. He, his lovely lady, and my Denny are thoroughly enjoying watching me spread my wings and grow in confidence. I feel quite blessed (all praise to his Noodly Highness [wink]). Other people pay good money for half such mentorship. Man, I gots good peeps.

Carving out the time to write, that’s one of the difficult parts. Denny is taking over much of the children’s schooling as well as the cooking and such, attempting to free me to write (have I mentioned that before? I think I mentioned that). But writing has often been my…hmm... dessert. Something I got to do when all my work and other things were done. Like a quiet moment with a warm brownie and a glass of milk when the wee ones go down for a nap. Since Denny entered the picture and saw the potential in my writing, we’ve gradually made the shift to prioritizing it. Seeing the success of Free to Be was a good kick in the behind. But in the beginning we had to sort out some of my other projects to see what might be able to help support us. We still make and sell goat milk soap and I still do a bit of sewing and crafting (all available locally and from our website), but honestly, for a while there I was getting a little stressed trying to make it all successful. Success takes time and energy. With a large family and a small farm, I was spread thin. Partly I was still trying to do most of it myself, as I’ve always done, and not leaning much on Denny, somewhat to his frustration. I’ve learned a lot about partnership in the last year and a half, that’s for sure! Denny’s been so patient. He’s just… mmm. He’s an incredible man.

Well, one day this spring Denny was consoling me through a bit of stress. We talked about where my focus should be; soap, sewing, writing, or whatever. He held my hand, wiped at my tears, and tenderly asked me a question I won’t soon forget.

“Sweets, what do you want to do?"

Dang, I still tear up thinking about it. S’cuse me a moment.

Okay. Better.

See, Denny and I have an understanding: we have one life to live, we want to live it to the fullest. We will sacrifice the standard American luxuries—new cars, big houses, fancy toys, etc.—to live a truly rich life enjoying each other, working together, spending time with and enjoying the children, having equally meaningful friendships, getting our hands dirty tending a bit of land and making it beautiful. Earning money to cover the necessities must be done from home if at all possible if we want to see this happen. Earning money in a way we enjoy—even better. And with a minimalist lifestyle, we figure we can make it happen. We just need the focus.

So, what do I want to do? I want to write. Hands down, no hesitation, beyond a shadow of a doubt, if I can help keep a roof over our heads with something that brings me deep satisfaction, then absolutely yes it would be writing.

And it’s still so moving that Denny wants to see me happy. That he cares. That he cares enough to ask and cares enough to help make it happen. He trusts me and my writing. I want to say he has faith in me, but he’d scoff at that. He trusts.

Aaaagggghhh! It’s overwhelming. Loving this damned life.

Now, back to work. 

The Unhappy Medium

The man to the right, the one with the preposterous eyebrows, is Tim Brown, aka T.J. Brown, Comedic Author Extraordinaire.  (At least, that's what his mum writes on his lunchbox.)  He is also my very good friend. What? No, I'm not ashamed to say it. Hmm? No, we shall not mention the incident with the jellied eels and the monks. Moving on now.     

I met the infamous Brown last May in an atheist group on Goodreads, where I was promoting my book, offering it free in exchange for honest reviews. Tim took me up on it and offered me a copy of his e-book in return, which I accepted, read, and laughed all the way through. (And reviewed, because as an indie-author I know reviews are gold!) Tim said he would be reading my book on his upcoming holiday and sent notes keeping me posted regarding his progress. After we'd read and reviewed each other's books we could have gone our separate ways, but we didn't. We began discussing independent publishing and writing and the rest, as they say, is best served with tartar sauce.  

Here's a bit about Tim from his website, theunhappymedium.com

T J Brown was born in Dorset during the 1960s but was too young to realise how good the decade was meant to be. Instead, he had to make do with the 1970s, which only became interesting towards the end when many, Brown included, started wearing charity-shop clothes and swearing. Conscription into arts school was at this time mandatory and as a result Brown found himself reading German literature, creating miserable paintings and performing music that in retrospect, and at the time, was dreadful. 

After three lost years at art school Brown moved to London to begin five lost years on the margins of the capital’s fashionable underbelly. 

After all that, a career in publishing almost came as a relief. And so, after many years producing illustrated books on astronomy and aviation, Brown returned to his love of comic writing. 

The result is THE UNHAPPY MEDIUM.

And here's a bit about The Unhappy Medium:

When even the laws of physics let you down, the absurd, the ludicrous and the frankly impossible may be all you have left. 

Dr Newton Barlow has everything a theoretical physicist could ask for – a glittering career both in the lab and on television, a beautiful wife, and best of all, the opportunity to promote his rock-solid certainty that supernatural and religious beliefs are nothing but complete and utter hokum. 

But Barlow is about to take a tumble. Mired in accusations of fraud, incompetence and malpractice, Newton is cast out from the scientific establishment and ejected from the family home. With his life in tatters, he descends into a wine-sodden wilderness.  

Then, after three lost years, Barlow is suddenly approached by his old mentor and fellow sceptic Dr Sixsmith with an extraordinary proposition, an offer that Newton simply cannot refuse. There’s just one small problem:  

Dr Sixsmith is dead. 

Thrown headlong into a new reality that simply shouldn’t exist, Dr Newton Barlow is about to come up against the best and the worst of human nature: tooled-up vicars, paper-pushing ancient Greeks, sinister property developers, a saucy rubber nun and possibly the most mean-spirited man ever to have walked the earth (twice). 
From the dusty plains of Spain to the leafy vicarages of Hampshire, Dr Barlow will have to contradict everything he ever believed in if he wants to save this world – and the next.

I encourage you to go buy Tim's book on Amazon right now. It'll be the best $5 you'll spend this week. One of the most enjoyable books I've ever read. But, if you are apprehensive about taking the chance (and who wouldn't be, seeing the dubious character in the photo above), I'll let you in on the latest news:  The Unhappy Medium can be downloaded free from Amazon tomorrow, all day long and to your heart's content.

And I'll let you in on a little secret... I've read the first few, albeit rough, chapters of the sequel Tim is working on and it's fantastic! Everything we love about the first and more. So, when you read The Unhappy Medium and find yourself agonizing over the fact that you've reached the last page, rest assured T.J. Brown will not fail us. (He dare not; I know where he lives and the foods he loathes. Conveniently, I also have direct access to his partner, Hazel, who knows how to give the back of his head a sound smack.)

What are you still doing here? Go read The Unhappy Medium.  And do be a good reader and leave Tim a review.

Free To Be-- Revised Cover

Now, I don't know why we didn't think of it sooner, it seems so obvious now, but a friend suggested we try a more upbeat image for Free to Be.   I love what we've come up with!  What do you think?

The other is very appropriate for the pensiveness that was a significant part of my first year out of christianity, but ultimately it's a story about rejoicing and being free.

Free to Be--Free Download!

Oh yes, here we go again!  Spread the word.  =)

Click here to download from Amazon
Click here to purchase an autographed copy

This is not a book about how to get out of religion or how to prove there is no God or how to become a humanist.  This book is a collection of one woman’s thoughts over the course of one year as her life changed and her freedom evolved, as she worked her way out of religious bondage, as she decided there probably is no God and considered why mankind wants one (or two or three), as she explored her freedoms, her past, her future, her culture and her universe.  Her religion permeated every aspect of her life and therefore the removal of it also deeply affected every aspect.

From her small home in rural Missouri Kaleesha invites you into the innermost areas of her life with warm, personal style.  Bits of wit, sadness, beauty and sarcasm abound as she examines the nuances of creating a new life for herself free from the expectations of God.  Surrounded by children, goats, chickens, friends and family she sorts through her relationships and perceptions of herself, her fellow creatures and the cosmos.  This book is an engaging exploration of life, teeming with thoughtful and honest questions about what it means to be human.  

What people are saying

5.0 out of 5 stars A painfully honest personal journey that tells a wider story June 24, 2014

By T J Brown
Format:Kindle Edition

Kaleesha Williams’s self-portrait of a wife, mother and questioning individual is as personal as it is more widely illustrative. It could so easily have been one person’s view of the death of a marriage, a blame-riddled take on events from a single perspective, but Williams manages to use her own experiences as a lens, her thought processes laid bare in often painful detail. Covering a year, the story is seen through journal entries, a period in which the author fights a war on two fronts, struggling to hold together a large young family while she come to terms with an unfolding rejection of religious dogma, an orthodoxy that had done much to drive this fiercely intelligent woman into the shallows.

Thoughtful, analytical and endlessly questioning, Williams is determined to take nothing for granted. There is nothing here that has not been rigorously tested and appraised before it can be trusted or embraced, whether it is from her traditional religious upbringing or from the newer reasoning platform that emerges as the story unfolds. If only more of us did that.

This analysis is very well handled, never drifting into hyperbole, waffle and obsession – quite an art in itself. Williams never portrays herself as a tragic heroine, commendably, and there is no spin in her favour. She is as touchingly forgiving to her protagonists as she is suspicious of the natural temptation to sail under new flags.

I think she could write first-class fiction given that her emotional scenarios are portrayed with such a lean and flowing clarity. Her descriptions of the day-to-day minutiae on the farm are also both charming and informative.

Being such a personal journey you are left hoping for the best for the author, not to mention all the other personalities involved. Good things come from the worst of times – hopefully in this case it will be more writing from a highly accomplished scribe.

5.0 out of 5 stars What a gift... March 14, 2014

By Lisa

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

Honest and real and unapologetic. Something we can all learn from even if the details are different. The quest to finding our true selves is universal and I have enjoyed following kaleesha's path as I gain awareness into my own.

5.0 out of 5 stars Such a strong woman! May 17, 2014

By Tasha

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

As the description says, this is not a book about whether or not God exists. It is a year out of the author's life while she comes into her own. It is inspiring, touching, amusing, and thought provoking. Kaleesha Williams is an amazing woman, and I'm glad she chose to share her story with us.

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest soul-searching May 16, 2014

By loadergoddess

Format:Kindle Edition

An honest, open account of one woman's spiritual quest. She has had the courage to ask herself the tough questions and seek her own truths and invites the reader to do the same, if they dare. One of my favorite quotes from the book (and I have many) is, "Unanswered questions are opportunities to learn and grow." If you have unanswered questions, and are willing to look for your own truths, this is a great book to help you explore them.

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful writing about a moving, engaging, and interesting story. July 29, 2014

By Joshua Stuempges

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

Wonderful writing about a moving, engaging, and interesting story. I don't have time to write a lengthy review, but I do want to express that it was a great read, one I found terribly interesting, and that I have a lot of respect for the author by the time I got to the end of it. Check out her blog for more of the same, it's like having extra chapters of the book in a sense :)

5.0 out of 5 stars So real May 7, 2014

By Jennifer McJunkin

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

Reading this book is like reaching into your innermost being, when we dare challenge ourselves to answer the questions in our own lives. I love how she shares her true self even when it is painful to realize hurtful realities. Incredibly thoughtful and introspective, as well as inspiring. May we all find the courage to live life happily and to its fullest.

5.0 out of 5 stars It is a gripping and heartwarming story of an intelligent woman extracting herself from the quagmire of religious dogma ..., August 8, 2014

By 

Ullrich Fischer (Canada)

This book gives me hope for America and Humanity. It is a gripping and heartwarming story of an intelligent woman extracting herself from the quagmire of religious dogma in which she was raised. It is also the story of the redemption of a life which was seriously off the rails. From a miserable life with a miss-matched mate to true love. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever had to put up with "God works in mysterious ways" as a non-answer to any of the many obvious questions which examining a religion based life bring up. Kudos to the author. This is the kind of book where you really connect with the story and can't wait to find out what comes next.

Five Star Thumbs Up -- The Quest For Reviews

(Read through to the end for a special deal just for reviewers!)

When I first began considering publishing a book, I did not anticipate the work I would put into the post-publication side of things.  If I'd read much about independent publishing, I'd have known, but it wouldn't have stopped me.  I was sort of in a blind rush to just do it, get it out there, and would later wake up and proclaim, "Holy pasta,  what have I done?!  What do you mean I now have to sell myself like a painted tart?"

I have since learned that reviews are the key.  Reviews are the lifeblood for an indie-published book. Reviews are what we are after, the fuel that keeps our fires going.  For those of us going the Amazon route, we check our reports daily:  how many sales, borrows and reviews have I received since I checked 23 minutes ago?

We will do anything to garner honest reviews.  I have given

My good friend, T.J. Brown, author of the
delightful novel, The Unhappy Medium,
receives his copy of Free to Be in the post

away 2300+ copies of my book.  I will give away thousands more to stir up reviews and sales.  Slow going, though.  Free to Be is hovering at 15 reviews.  Most shoppers look at book reviews and write off the first 10-15 assuming they are from family and friends and are therefore biased.  In my case, few of my family and friends have read my book, let alone left reviews.  Lessee... yes, four acquaintances reviewed it.  I love them for it.  (Okay, I love them anyway.)  The other eleven reviews were written by complete strangers.  (I've had only one out-right bad review, and I've been through rigorous training to teach me to pull something positive from it.)

Reviews are quite humbling, good or bad.  I deeply appreciate the fact that anyone takes the time to read my book to begin with, and but it's even more significant when they go the next step and tell the world what they thought of it.  This is what your review does, you see.  It tells the world whether or not it's worth their time.  It's the whole word-of-mouth thing, internet style.  Grass-roots.  A variety of reviews offer an overview of what folks can expect when they pick it up.  The more reviews, the more variety, the better.  (Even the bad ones!)  You know this, right?  You've learned to read and weigh reviews when shopping for a new product.  Well, what a privilege to be able to add your voice!

Now that I know the significance, I leave reviews for just about everything I read.  Well, if it has a over 200 reviews I don't always bother, unless I have something very particular to say about it.  In my free time I go back and review books I've read in the past.  It can be quite fun, actually.  The more I write, the more I appreciate the things I read and the more detailed reviews I'm able to write.  Not surprisingly, some of the most rewarding feedback has been from other authors.  Unexpectedly, I've connected with a lot of amazing people, even becoming good friends with some of them (and better friends with others--note the adorable goofball above).  I must say, that's been the best part of the whole thing.

So... Have you read Free to Be? Would you consider taking a moment to write a review and rate it?  You may do so here at Amazon.  For those of you on Goodreads, you can also leave a review here.

I'm going to throw in a little something to sweeten the deal.  Many readers have expressed a desire for more from me; more writing in general and more about what my life was like as a christian and how I got out.  I'm currently working on an autobiographical fiction with just such details.  If you leave me a review on Amazon, pop back here and let me know in the comments or email me, message me on Facebook, Twitter, or Goodreads, or send a signing telegram or pigeon.  Then, if you would like, I'll email you a PDF of the first draft of the first chapter of my next book.  If you have already left a review and would like the PDF, just let me know and I'll get it right to you.

Free to Be -- Free download at Amazon

Been wanting to pick up a copy of Free to Be but haven't got around to it yet?  Well, you can always order an autographed copy from my website and I'll pop it right in the mail because I'll be insanely excited, but maybe you prefer ebooks?  Maybe you prefer FREE?  Check out this sweet deal: 

Be sure to read, review and share with your friends!  (Or enemies.  Whichever suits.)

Tired Of Book Updates Yet?

Too bad.  But this is a good one.  You'll like this one.

Free To Be:  How I Went From Unhappily Married Conservative Bible Believer To Happily Divorced Atheistic Humanist In One Year And Several Complicated Steps

... is now available for purchase.  

See, I told you you'd like this one.  Just pop over to kaleeshawilliams.com to order an epub version of the book.  After you purchase we email you a link where you can download the book. You will be able to read it with any epub reader or drop it into iBooks.  The plan is that within 24 hours from now you will be able to purchase a Kindle version from Amazon as well as the iBook version directly from iBooks, but buying directly from our site is the most supportive because we get to keep all the moolah.  =)

I'm as nervous can be.  Interestingly, I went from worrying how the content will be received to worrying about the formatting not carrying over properly.  Will the italics remain?  Will the block quotes stay indented?  What if someone converts the epub doc and loses the formatting?  Publishing woes.  This is tricky business.  Denny assures me all is well.  We'll see. I imagine I soon will be back to worrying about the content.  Ha.

So, there it is...  thank you so much for your support!

Chapter 2 -- Dissolution of Marriage -- Introduction

I made some good progress on the book last night.  Though I'm mostly just editing what I've already written, Denny and I agreed that something more was needed to tie in the section about my failed marriage.  I'm so thankful for Denny's gentle challenges and constant encouragement.  I pushed myself and improved the introduction to this chapter.  Thought I'd share it here.

Dissolution of Marriage

In January of 2013 I began to journal about my marriage with what I believe was more honesty than I'd ever expressed before.  I guess I needed to write to see it clearly.  I'd never wanted to speak disrespectfully of Bobby, so I often wasn't completely open with others.  I could be strong, I thought.  I could just think positively.  But, I was experiencing so much freedom in other areas of my life, I needed a place I could be open about my frustrating, one-sided marriage, about the pain I experienced when Bobby began sleeping outside in a hammock full time, about the loneliness; about the fear I operated under, wondering if he would get his way and drag us into his unrealistic fantasies of "living easy" in an bus, all nine of us, traveling from free parking space to free parking space, being "tied down" to nothing.
In hindsight it is clear to me that my marriage was just as binding as my relationship to God.  I had been thoroughly steeped in the doctrine that a Christian wife is to serve her husband, to consider him above all things in her life, because woman was created solely to be man’s helper.  Once, several years ago, I spoke with an older female friend about this.  She was the pastor’s wife, in fact.
“We wives are just glorified slaves, aren’t we?” I mused.  “We belong completely to our husbands, to serve them alone, and have little say regarding ourselves, our family, our homes, our entire lives.  It’s God’s will that we yield entirely to our husbands.  But we can be their treasures, their most preferred, and if we are valued by them they will ask our opinions occasionally and treat us well.”   She wholeheartedly agreed and was pleased that, young as I was, I was so quickly discovering the key to my happiness: knowing my place.   And this is truly the position I believe the Bible supports.
  So, for one, the grounds of my relationship with Bobby were faulty.  I tried to submit to him as my head (master), and mostly I succeeded, but sometimes I resented it.  More than I would have admitted it at the time.  I resented that we were not equals, that my thoughts and my desires and my words had less weight than his.  It pained me to see the effect his “leadership” had on the children.  I found creative ways (that I hoped were respectful) to intervene on their behalf when I felt he was being unreasonable.  And I felt he was unreasonable often.  Not just unreasonable, but uninterested, uninvolved.  Why should someone who is uninvolved and uninterested have the final say in the lives of others?  But I loved God.  I knew God’s ways were higher than my ways and I wanted to please him, so I choked down my opinions and yielded, trusting that God would bless my children, myself and my marriage for my obedience to his will.
The Bible teaches a wife is to respect her husband, not based on whether he deserves respect, but because his position as head of the wife demands it.  I tried with all my heart for many years, but found it very difficult to show respect toward someone for whom I had little respect.
This is a recipe for disaster.  The whole idea of headship warps the thinking and identity of women and men alike.  Women are people, too.  We have brains, hearts, voices.  Women need to know this.  Men need to know this.  Marriage should be a partnership.  I think the most beautiful partnerships occur when each party considers him or herself neither above nor beneath the other, but balances deference to the other with respect for oneself.  Each understands and draws on the other’s strengths and strengthens the other’s weaknesses for the benefit of the partnership and the family.
“He who loses his life for my sake will find it,” promises Jesus, hinting at eternal life.  Well, I lost my life.  My life was Bobby’s and it never should have been.  I have found it again, no thanks to Jesus.
Couldn’t Bobby and I have stayed together and found another way to relate?  Some couples could, sure.  I even personally know some who have left religion and are doing swell, but my faith in God was the main reason Bobby and I had stayed together.  Divorce was a sin.  My life was forfeit, no longer my own because Jesus had bought me with his blood.  What I wanted didn't matter.  So, when reverence for God went out the window, when I broke free of those other bonds in my life, I realized I was equally unnecessarily bound by marriage to a man whom I could not respect and whom did not respect me.  

But hindsight is, as they say, 2o/20.  The following journal entries will put you right into the murky waters of my marriage, when things were not so clear, when I was just beginning to recognize and exercise my right to the pursuit of happiness.  Read along as I fight my way to the surface and to liberty.

(For more about surviving spiritual abuse, visit the Spiritual Abuse Survivors Blog Network)

Book Update

Well folks, it's coming along.  Denny is working hard doing things I usually do around the house to free up a few hours here and there for me to focus on the book.  He's eager and encouraging.  It's awesome living with my biggest fan.
    I have compiled much material from the last year; journal and blog entries, snippets of letters, random notes.  It's tricky because I'm not selecting and writing bits on a certain topic, rather I want to give as complete a picture as I can of my life and the changes since I left religion.  So much has happened and so many thoughts have been thunk!  The focus of my writing changes up a lot; for awhile I'm exploring the immorality of the Bible, then I'm off on my new astronomical hobby, the next moment I am lost in my crumbling marriage.  When I first pulled it all together I thought, "What a mess!  No one is going to want to read this!" but I have endeavored to join the bits together with shiny new writing and before long I began to see it all as a fascinating whole.  Because my religion permeated every aspect of my life the lack of it has also permeated every aspect of my life.  Getting free, learning to be human...  wow.  No part of me has been untouched. I hope you are as fascinated reading about my journey as I have been living it!  It's still sort of messy, but that's because it's a complete sort of picture of my very human thoughts and experiences, and humans are, by nature, messy.  If you meet one who isn't, he or she is hiding something.  Or maybe dead.
     Still got plenty of work to do, so while Denny is out in the living room chillin' with our seven rowdy Willies as they play blocks and finish up dishes,  I'm going to get back to it.  Stay tuned.  Maybe next time I'll tell you the title I think I've settled on for the book.